Bureau of Meteorology Edition

The hot topic at 5:30am was simple:

Would it rain?

The app said 75%.
The radar looked ominous.
The doona felt elite.

I floated a soft, exploratory text into the group chat suggesting that perhaps we roll over and secure another REM cycle.

Mick was first to respond.

“You need to harden up a bit.”

Marco followed shortly after. Fewer words. More expletives.
These guys are proper Warriors.

So I rolled out.

At the meeting point: three already present.
One en route.
A few still unconscious.

By 6am we were all fully qualified meteorologists from the Bureau of “She’ll Be Right”. The 75% chance of rain had somehow converted into a 100% chance of a ride happening.

The General assessed those odds… and stayed home.

I attempted to defend his honour. The group showed no interest in preserving it. I’ll be forwarding all comments to Steve directly and punishment will be handed down next week as he sees fit.

The Hour of Power

Same route as the previous two weeks.
Strong verbal agreement beforehand:

“It won’t be as violent.”

We roll out.
Gentleman’s agreement firmly in place.

Chris takes first turn. Civilised.

We hit the first bridge rise and Neil, clearly looking to atone for last week’s events, detonates from the back and sprints up the incline like he’s been personally insulted by gravity.

Strong early showing.

He didn’t say it, but I know he was grateful for the red light immediately after the rise. Premature end to his turn. Reputation intact.

Mick then takes the reins.

Straight to 38km/h.

Gentleman’s agreement officially shredded.

We rolled turns at a “pretty good” clip. Past the halfway point, the reputation Neil established earlier was slowly dissolving, along with his ability to hold the final wheel.

We regrouped.

Gentleman’s agreement reinstated. Briefly.

Mick did another turn and peeled off at the base of the final rise — again. I see a trend.

Gentleman’s agreements can be confusing.

Back at the meeting point we did a few laps of Watton Street waiting for the Sunday Social crew. It was still dry. We had officially defeated the 75%.  

Sunday Social

Largely uneventful. Except Mick kept getting verbally cautioned for speeding whenever he hit the front. Ease up, Mick. 

Café Debrief

Topics covered:

• Body composition
• Fat
• Combating said fat

Neil, a trained professional in the field, delivered some high-level clinical insights.

“It’s not my fault I’m in this shape, it’s my glands.”
→ “How many glands did you eat?”

“It runs in my family.”
→ “You’re in that shape because nobody runs in your family.”

Elite bedside manner.

Best Dressed: Neil. No contest.
The Ramp test survival shirt stole the show. Likely enough to earn him bonus points in next week’s proceedings.

This is why we do it. Same roads. Same crew. Always worth the early alarm ⏰.

And if you’re still buzzing from the ride, legs cooked, coffee in hand and stories getting better by the minute — don’t forget to kit up for the recovery phase. Our post-ride funny cycling t-shirts are designed for exactly this moment: zero watts, maximum laughs. Because the ride might be over, but the banter definitely isn’t 🚴☕️😄