Excuses, 40km/h Turns, and a Peloton Pigeon

The usual Red Group / Blue Group text went out and the buzz immediately started. The sub-groups lit up too.

"Hey mate, are we meeting at the usual spot at the usual time?"

Standard Saturday evening communication.

Then Sunday morning rolled around and the WhatsApp groups were equally active.

"Can't make it. It's my daughter's birthday and also 24 Hours of Le Mans."

Bundling two completely unrelated excuses into one message is elite-level work.

Then there was:

"I slept in. See you at the Sunday Social."

Followed later by:

"Missed that too. Slept in again. Late night."

How late are we talking here, mate?

Despite this week's impressive excuse catalogue, we still had a big turnout at the Hour of Power. With Steve absent, we made an early and unanimous agreement to take it easy. Mick even threw out a target speed.

32km/h.

That was the last time we heard of 32km/h.

There was enough content this week to fill an entire newsletter. We had 40km/h turns. We had newbies doing newbie things, including a slow-speed clipped-in fall that looked like it happened in slow motion. We had a puncture where some poor bloke had to change a tyre with frozen hands. We had riders drifting off the back. We had the biggest rider in the group and the, how do I put this delicately... least tall rider in the group disappear up the road together in a partnership nobody saw coming.

Even more surprising was that they nearly stayed away.

There was plenty to choose from this week.

But one moment stood above the rest.

One of the newcomers was Neil's lovely wife, Kim (on Team Trek – respect). It's always great when cycling brings families together.

You'd think Neil spent the morning riding alongside Kim, gazing lovingly into her eyes and sharing the joy of the sport together.

Except absolutely not.

Neil Pogacar spent the entire ride on the front.

Long pulls.

Covering attacks.

Closing gaps before they even existed.

Stamping out breakaways before anyone had the courage to attempt them.

Neil.

The same Neil who was dangling off the back less than three weeks ago.

Ladies and gentlemen, we were witnessing the rare and magnificent mating ritual of the Peloton Pigeon.

Nature is truly remarkable.

Was Kim impressed?

No idea.

But Neil wasn't taking any chances.

Back at the café, Mick got his order in early and then stood silently near the counter watching the baristas make coffee.

Maintaining eye contact.

For a long time.

The rest of us naturally formed a queue behind him.

And waited.

And waited.

Eventually the atmosphere started getting tense. People were shifting around. Checking watches. Looking concerned.

A brief investigation revealed that Mick wasn't actually in the queue.

He was simply... observing.

Once this discovery was made, the crowd surged around him and normal ordering operations resumed. Caffeine levels recovered and the mood immediately improved.

The conversation flowed easily after that.

We discussed camping spots.

The upcoming State of Origin.

The challenges of winter riding, where your body is overheating while your fingers and toes have completely ceased functioning.

We gave Marco the customary amount of grief for not stopping at Maccas for Breakfast 3.0.

We revisited the morning's excuse list.

Then somehow the conversation drifted toward manicures and pedicures.

At this point Neil, still apparently uncertain whether his cycling performance had achieved the desired effect, launched into Phase Two of the Peloton Pigeon mating ritual.

Within moments he had somehow managed to turn a perfectly innocent pedicure discussion into something deeply uncomfortable.

Eye contact was abandoned.

People suddenly remembered urgent commitments.

The café began emptying rapidly. Pregnant mums and kids were running for cover. The ritual was complete. 

And after all of Neil's hard work...

Kim left by herself.

And I took Neil home.

Turns out I'm partial to a Peloton Pigeon.

Who would've known?

This week's World Champion of my Sunday Bunchie award goes to Kim.

It was a strong first outing for Kim. She kept a cool head despite Neil's distractions.